Pa´tience Pronunciation: pā´shens
Sometimes I wonder if I'll look back on this residency thing and only remember the good things; the good friends we made, Marley & Jake's baby, toddler & preschool years, the things we loved about living in Phoenix, and the crazy adventures (like going to Alaska!).
OR if I'll look back and remember the lonely days and nights, going to church alone, birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays spent alone, sleepless nights and not having anyone to relieve me when I most needed it - wow that sounds depressing.
I kinda hope I remember a little bit of both.
I hope that I remember that even though my husband is the one with the title for going through this, that I sacrificed a lot as well - making me more proud of him than anyone else.
I hope that my experience can give someone else hope or strength or whatever they need to get through what I went through.
Mostly I hope I remember to be grateful for time - the time that I hope we'll have more of when he's finished.
Right now I pray to be content with the time we do have and to be patient (persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on annoyance/anger in a negative way) when homemade meals remain untouched (because my kids would rather eat pb&j), dates & plans made are cancelled, when I end up being the 3rd wheel because he got stuck in surgery, when the kids don't see him at all for days at time, and when the "headed home" text comes hours after it was anticipated.
Here's to renewing my resolve to be patient! :)
Oh man, you guys are so close! This is Jared's last year, right? Do you know where you're going yet when he's finished? Are you going to take a big trip or 2nd honeymoon to celebrate?
ReplyDeleteThe thing that makes us feel a tiny bit better about how often John is gone, is hoping that in a few years when the kids REALLY need him, he'll be there.
Heidi, As I read this post, my heart pounded, tears rolled down my cheek. I'm alive because of a wonderful surgeon believed I needed surgery and needed it NOW! I've often thought about her, and her wonderful husband home with the kids, thinking oh ya mom is at work again. Her shift had ended and for some reason she was still at the hospital. I think they would have waited until morning, and then it would have been to late. I'm so grateful for her, and that she did what her heart wanted and pushed her self through medical school. So thank you Heidi for letting your husband dream his dream. I'm sure he will save many lives. You and him will be surly blessed.
ReplyDeleteHeidi, im so glad I checked your blog tonight and grateful for your post. I too am learning patience. My husband is not a surgeon just trying to make us a decent living by starting/running our own flooring/cabinet store for the last 4yrs and I must say it has not been easy. Very similar experiences to yours (canceled plans, late nights, being told he would be home at 7, then 8, then 9, and so on, working almost every weekend). Your posts have given me strength by letting me know that I am not alone in raising young children with a husband away a lot. My husband may not be saving lives just hopefully saving people a few dollars ;), but Your husband IS doing amazing work and you are just as amazing if not more for helping him do his work. They couldn't do what they do without us. You are a strong woman raising two beautiful kiddos! Miss ya Hydes!
ReplyDeleteKarisa, YES he is almost finished. :) I can't believe that it's nearing the end. I have to keep reminding me of that. Hopefully my dreams of him having more time when he's finished will come true. ha!
ReplyDeleteLinds, I agree that is helps to know that others have and currently do it and are making it through. :) Hopefully with our husbands paying their "dues" now will pay off later, right!?